How to Host like a Sullivan Girl

No. 56

Dec 30, 2025

Hosting is a muscle that deteriorates if you don’t use it, and for good reason. When you look at it from a distance, the idea of bringing a group of people who may or may not know each other very well, into your personal space where there is a likelier chance than not that something will be spilled, spend huge amounts of time and resources planning, setting up, and subsequently cleaning, and often have to spend the day playing host is enough to make one queasy. But in practice, as those of you who entertain often well know, hosting effectively can be one of the most fulfilling ways to socialize: you have the chance to pick a theme that excites you, decorate, carefully select a guest list, see all of your favorite people in one place over scintillating conversation, and watch your loved ones get to know and love each other.

Photography: Jing Zeng

As I reflect on 2025 and some of the moments that brought me the most joy, so many of them center around a hosting opportunity I grasped by the reins. This post is brought to you in collaboration with Sullivan clothing, a brand built by women I cherish and have supported since the very beginnings of what has quickly become a cult favorite brand. Because I was lucky enough to collaborate with the team on our second joint trunk show in my new home, what better opportunity to illustrate some of my best hosting lessons and recommendations through the lens of this creative endeavor?

Photography: Jing Zeng

Lead with Purpose

The best parties are much like successful voyages: they have a destination they are determined for. A party with no goal can devolve into a frat party quickly: with no games, no art, no shared purpose, a party is just a vehicle for drinking too much. Even when the intention is clear: perhaps you’re hosting a Holiday party or a Fourth of July party: what is the theme, the purpose? Is it kitschy Americana Independence Day? Caviar and champagne Christmas? Are you making art together, discussing ideas? How are you facilitating?

Slim zip jacket & mini skirt, both in moss. Photography: Jing Zeng

As a longtime friend of Sullivan, the question I ask myself whenever I cohost their events is: how do we make this event relevant for the specific audience we invite, and for the energy we hope to conjure? Our April trunk show allowed us to lean into our light, feminine Easter springtime energy, while our event this fall was warm and cozy, with candlelit silver, soft jazz, and cardamom-infused cocktails.

State jacket in midnight, uniform skirt. Photography: Jing Zeng

Curate the Guest List

A good party does not necessarily mean including every one of your most cherished friends, and sometimes requires inviting people that you otherwise wouldn’t, simply because they are such a good fit for the environment. Consider:

A dinner party to introduce people who may enjoy each others company, or veterans of a specific industry
A trunk show that appeals to female friends in the fashion world, but may not be as interesting for men

Photography: Jing Zeng

In “The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters” by Priya Parker, Parker argues that meaningful gatherings require what she calls “generous exclusion” - being thoughtful and intentional about who you invite (and don’t invite) based on the gathering’s specific purpose. The idea is that by being clear about your purpose and selective about attendees, you create the conditions for deeper connection and more meaningful experiences. Trying to include everyone often dilutes the purpose and weakens the gathering.

Prepare Accordingly

A good party illustrates its purpose through design: the right tools, the right music, the right decor, and the right food. It is as much about utility as it is about flair: should you ask your guests to touch sumptuous fabrics, and try on delicate pieces, small bites that are largely self-contained are key, served with and on silver glimmering in the late afternoon sun.

Photography: Jing Zeng

Much like a meal can lose its appeal with no salt or the wrong seasonings, a party or gathering is made significantly more complete with the proper playlist. I’m partial to The Nutcracker during the winter, jazz during shoulder seasons, and French disco during the summer, but you can get much more specific than that (and in whatever direction you so choose).

Photography: Jing Zeng

It doesn’t take much to add the finishing touches that make an event feel intentional: fresh flowers and fruit, your best silver, and thoughtful lighting.

A well-placed mirror echoes the goal of the gathering: try something on! Play with color and shape! Photography: Jing Zeng

A Good Party is Always Effortless

Photography: Jing Zeng

…or at least seems to be. Effortlessness is not valuable for its own sake, but for the flow of a good party. You will be BUSY when you host, and shouldn’t spend your time trolleying freshly warmed blinis to your caviar spread when chips will do just fine. A little recipe card with the cocktail ingredients allows people to pour for themselves. A flow that allows for mingling, resting, and, in the case of a Sullivan party, trying on beautiful pieces means you won’t have to squeeze by people or risk a traffic jam (and, God forbid, a traffic jam-related red wine spill).

Ritual sweater in black, jacquard billow pant in slate blue. Photography: Jing Zeng

A surprise in every corner. Photography: Jing Zeng

A good flow also means saying goodbye to the “meet and greet.” Instead of spending 2 minutes with everyone who comes in (leaving you drained, without a libation and in need for the facilities), allow yourself to have real conversations. Yes, sometimes this will mean that you don’t get to everyone, but (in my humble opinion) that is totally okay. Abundance mindset! You’re throwing another party next month - you’ll get some quality time with them then. Fewer but more meaningful interactions lends itself to an environment of ease.

Remember to nurture what is already there - like my cat, Beaujolais! He is a guest too, even if he doesn’t fit into Sullivan’s standard sizing. Photography: Jing Zeng

The Sullivan Girl

So what can the Sullivan girl teach us about being a good host? She brings people together and facilitates conversation effortlessly. She runs her own version of a modern French salon: combining the worlds of art, community, fashion, and intellect in one room. She is lighthearted, she is modern, but she never forgets her heritage.

Princess top in black. Photography: Jing Zeng

She always makes her intentions clear, so when you show up, you know exactly what to expect: from what attire to don to what your evening will entail.

She hand-selects a curated guest list, so be prepared to meet a variety of interesting people from all walks of life (not just the usual suspects).

Her space will always feel uniquely suited to the event: custom matchbooks, spirited decorations, unique floral arrangements, with a perfect flow.

And because, above all, a Sullivan girl is booked and busy, and wants to spend her time with her guests, her party will, above all, feel effortless.

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